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Helping Haiti

January 16th, 2010 · 2 Comments
Girl in Haiti

Girl in Haiti

What a way to start a new year and a new decade—with a global humanitarian crisis. I had a blog already prepared about maintaining a healthy weight (as this is a common New Year’s resolution), but I’m shelving that for a future date. The January 12 earthquake that devastated Haiti just seems too pressing of an issue to ignore.

I’m sure you all have been following the news, so you don’t need me to recap story. It does seem like a truly dismal situation, not only due to the tens of thousands of deaths, but also the utter chaos, lack of food, fresh water, and medical attention for survivors.

One suggestion for something simple we all can do, aside from sending funds or going to Haiti ourselves, is a Buddhist practice known as tonglen mediation, which is designed specifically for expressing our compassion for the suffering of others. In the standard meditation, you breathe in peace and breathe out your stress and anxiety. With tonglen, you do exactly the opposite.

Sit in a comfortable position with an erect spine and close your eyes. Take a few moments to quiet your mind and call attention to your breath. Then move into tonglen: as you inhale, imagine that you are taking in all the pain and suffering of those in Haiti. As you exhale, send out loving-kindness, empathy, and a powerful wish for their wellbeing. Breathe in the darkness, breathe out relief. This is one very inexpensive and straightforward way to share your blessings with those in need.

Note: This is my latest posting to the Stanford Alumni Association’s “Living Well” blog.

 

Just Sit

December 4th, 2009 · No Comments

Back when the Beatles traveled to the foothills of the Indian Himalayas to study Transcendental Meditation (TM) with Maharishi-guru, most people thought of the activity as some sort of new age, hippie pastime. But over the past few decades, scientific studies have revealed time and again the significant benefits of meditation in terms of health and wellbeing.

The National Institutes for Health (NIH) reports that in clinical trails, meditation has been shown to relieve stress, asthma, and symptoms of chronic pain; reduce frequency and intensity of hot flashes among menopausal women; and improve attention and focus. It is thought to work by minimizing our body’s stress response and increasing activity of the parasympathetic nervous system (causing heart and breathing rate to slow, blood flow to increase, and digestion to improve). And it’s free, available to everyone regardless of age or health, and can be done in the convenience of your own home.

I have attended two ten-day silent Vipassana meditation retreats (find out how you can, too, at www.dhamma.org). Not only were we not permitted to talk, but we could not listen to music, write in a journal, exercise (other than walking during breaks), or read books. Basically, we had to live in the prison of our own minds with no distractions.

I was so nervous on my first day there that I nearly threw up on the meditation hall floor.  Seriously. For three straight 16-hour long days, I stewed, raged, got bored, fidgeted, and generally hated the experience. The only part I looked forward to was the delicious vegetarian lunch.

But on Day Four, I had a breakthrough. The afternoon session slipped by without my becoming anxious or agitated. In fact, I couldn’t believe it when the gong sounded, signaling that the evening tea break had begun. My mind had quieted down. I had found peace. I bowed forward on my cushion, placed my forehead on the floor, and wept with gratitude. Of course the very next day, I was back to my jumpy self… but at least I knew that my efforts were getting me somewhere.

If you don’t have a meditation practice, I recommend giving it a try. Just pick a quiet place in your house and set an alarm for 15 (or start with five, then ten, then work your way up to even 60) minutes. Sit comfortably on a cushion with a tall spine, and watch the breath move in and out of your nostrils. When you notice your mind wandering, simply label what you’re doing without judgment (“thinking,” “planning,” “remembering,” “fantasizing”), and then return to monitoring your breath.*

My favorite excuse people give for not meditating is: “I’m no good at it!” Really? I say. Guess what? None of us are good at it! You’re not born a meditator, anymore than you’re born a pianist or athlete or doctor. You have to work at it. What’s more, there’s no such thing as a good or bad sit. If you’re sitting, you are by definition meditating. Some days are easier than others. Some days bring a nearly instant sense of calm and grounding, whereas some days you’ll find your mind wandering and struggling throughout.

But isn’t that the nature of life? We feel more balanced and competent when we stand in our deep-rooted sense of who we are and the goodness of life, than when we allow ourselves to get swept up with intense emotional responses to every “good” or “bad” event that happens. The key—to meditation and to wellbeing—is not to judge or react, but rather to find equanimity, returning to the breath time and again no matter what whirlwinds surround and invade us.

*If you want to learn more about meditation, I strongly recommend the classic book “Wherever you Go, There you Are” by Jon Kabat-Zinn, MD. You might also try attending a meditation group at a church, yoga studio, hospital or wellness center, or Buddhist facility near you.

 

Don’t Panic! Finding your Center during Tumultuous Times

September 9th, 2009 · No Comments

Do you find yourself sometimes swept up in fear? Are you feeling anxious about the economy, the environment, wars and violence, your career, your relationships, or your way forward in life? Do you struggle to remain centered during these tumultuous times?

Don’t panic!
You can find your calming center.

In this special afternoon workshop, yoga teacher, life coach, and experienced self-help book writer MeiMei Fox will guide you on a journey to well-being, where fear fades away, replaced by faith, peace, and joy. Ground yourself in your yoga practice, your breath, and trust in your higher self. The workshop will consist of guided meditation drawing on Buddhist wisdom, a heart-opening and stress-releasing yoga practice inspired by Hindu traditions, and modern writing exercises based on Western psychotherapy.

Wear your yoga clothes, and bring your water bottle and a journal and pen. Come with an open mind and willingness to set yourself free from fear!

Where: Aha Yoga on Union St
When: Sun, Sept 13, 1:30-4pm
Cost: $35
Please register directly with Aha Yoga: www.ahayogasf.com
415-440-YOGA

What does Calm look like to you?

What does Calm look like to you?

 

Finding Peace during the Holidays

December 11th, 2008 · No Comments

I don’t know about you, but I find the holiday season can be exhausting - so many gifts to buy, plans to make, parties to attend. True, it can be a wonderful time of connection, celebration, and joy. But we also can find ourselves depleted come January rather than refreshed, recharged, and ready to make changes in the new year.

So this holiday season, make finding peace for yourself a priority. Schedule a massage. Go to a yoga class (see my schedule below - I am teaching at Aha at 4:30pm on Sat and 7:45pm on Tues). If nothing else, take five minutes to sit outside and breathe. We can easily slip into a mode of focusing on what’s missing or what we wish we had. Instead, practice gratitude everyday - give thanks for your health, living in a peaceful country, your friends and family, your pets, a lovely cup of tea, the lights up on people’s houses, the fact that Obama is our next President, whatever makes you feel good!

 

Things I Learned from 2 Vipassana Retreats (Part II)

October 22nd, 2008 · No Comments

I learned…

  • that the second time isn’t always easier.
  • that fear and her bullying sidekicks, anger and self-loathing, are lurking around every corner, ready to pounce.
  • to sleep soundly.
  • that I really am insanely blessed in this life.
  • to walk with beauty, completely aware and present to my surroundings.
  • how to stare fear right in the eyes and say, “Yeah, I am terrified, and I do feel sick to my stomach. But I’m not running away from you.”
  • that I will never tire of sending love to friends and family.
  • to talk less and listen more.
  • that putting an end to misery through developing equanimity means not buying into craving and aversion.
  • that no one, no matter how wise or generous or amazing, can get you to lasting peace and contentment. They can give you great directions, but ultimately you have to get there on your own.
  • to spend less time judging - myself and others.
  • to pray.
  • that throwing anger and aggression and blame at my wounds never helps them heal.
  • that I have taken one small step on the path to liberation but I still have a long, long way to go.
  • that beyond anger, above and below doubt, and through fear, there is always, eventually, finally - peace.
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Things I Learned from 2 Vipassana Retreats (Part I)

October 21st, 2008 · No Comments

I learned…

  • that I have a record playing in my head with a big scratch on it, so it keeps skipping and playing that same old tune over and over and over again.
  • that no one can do you more harm than your own wild mind.
  • the value of silence.
  • how to take 15 minutes to eat an orange (try this one at home!).
  • the joy of (re)discovering my toes.
  • to be still.
  • that no matter how much anger, frustration, and sadness come up, there’s always still more.
  • to recognize honestly the part I play in creating my “problems.”
  • that it’s easy to beat yourself up, and much harder to look at your flaws with compassion.
  • the importance of holding up the mirror and taking a long, honest look at yourself to face the uncompromising, unobstructed truth.
  • that it helps to sing silently in your head, but singing aloud at the top of your lungs is far more satisfying.
  • how to feel full after eating just one banana for dinner.
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Back from my second 10-day meditation retreat

October 6th, 2008 · No Comments

I just returned from my second annual Vipassana 10-day silent meditation retreat. The first one, which I completed exactly one year ago, affected me profoundly. It cured my insomnia and inspired me to write my memoir (which hopefully my agent and I will be ready to shop around to publishers very soon!).

This time around, I found it easier in some ways and harder in some ways… Easier to sit for an hour without moving a finger or scratching an itch. Harder in that I confronted dark places in myself, looked honestly at my flaws, and sat with my fear.

To learn more about Vipassana mediation as taught by S.N. Goekna (which, by the way, is free- the entire global organization is donation-based and run by volunteers), click here:

http://www.dhamma.org/


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